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September 2011

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Is this the beginnings of an obsessive compulsive disorder?

NoteThis contains pretty much TMI about me.

I wonder if I'm developing some sort of disorder.

I spent like an hour off and on the other day pulling hair off my belly, namely my belly button, and burning it. It didn't feel particularly enjoyable. And I didn't feel particularly inclined to do it... but I just did. It was an interesting sensation. Since I have my naval pierced I'm pretty sensitive in that area, so for the past 3 years I've had it I've been strangely fascinated with that area.

I've always had a strange obsession with burning things though. Like last night, I spent probably half an hour lying in bed thinking about what would happen if you put a spider in the microwave. Though, it should probably be noted that I had been playing Dragon Age 2 for about 4 hours before hand, and spent most of that time being attacked by a variety of fucking spiders (why there's so many spiders in this game is absolutely fucking beyond me.) But I was wondering if it would like... explode and spray web everywhere. Granted, That's not something that I'd like to see, but that's beyond the point.

In any event, I started wondering what would happen if I burned the follicle of my hair (which resulted from an earlier convo I had with someone about a strange desire I had to burn to burn my armpit hair... which I actually did the other night and it pretty much melted a bit, and that was about it. Luckily I didn't set myself on fire). So I found a pair of tweezers and since I have no desire to pull the hair out of my head, went for the belly button in between playing Dragon Age, texting and browsing the web (multitasking like a BOSS).

My folicle didn't really do anything special. Just melted like hair normally does. It was kind of disappointing. But I was bored and I just like burning things, so I went for it. (Which reminded me that I need to buy more belly bars... Ebay~).

I tried pulling hair off my arm, but that was just awful. I have a scab on my leg that's pretty grotty though, but there's hair growing through it (It should also be noted that I haven't shaved my legs since Halloween. Going natural like a BOSS). So I pulled one from there and set it on fire. Didn't really do anything. I had this strange desire that it would like, burn a different color and I'd be able to tell something cool about my body or diet or something, idfk.

But all in all, I don't really have a desire to pull hair... I just did for a lengthy time the other night. But after watching like a marathon of "Strange Addictions" or whatever the fuck that show is called, I'm paranoid about it. What if I suddenly snap and start pulling out patches of my hair everyday? Or eating pottery... or drinking laundry fluid or some shit (for serious it happened, watch that fucking show)?

Comments

Everyone has weird things, the basic quality of a disorder is that it severely affects your life in a negative way :)

(Anonymous)

Looking forward to have my say

Hey - I am really glad to find this. Good job!

Re: Looking forward to have my say

Get the fuck off my journal you fucking troll.