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September 2011



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Why I treat my friends like family

So, me and Mom got into a fight on Saturday.

I'm still pissed about it.

Granted, in retrospect, the fight shouldn't have bothered me very much, since it's far from the first time that this has happened. But, it still bothers me, since, well, she's my mom.

Anyways, I guess I should go into a bit of detail. Me and Mom don't have anything resembling a good relationship. In fact, all we've ever done since I was old enough to voice my opinion is fight. And not because of my opinions, it's not that we disagree on things. It's more that Mom has decided it's cute to find every single reason possible to insult me. We don't bond. We can't have a normal conversation. In every single conversation we've had since about the second grade, is pretty much Mom making fun of me in some way, or blaming me for something that I 95% of the time have no involvement in, and me sitting there silently.

In any event, I moved over to my apartment from my dorm about 7 months ago, and my current bedroom is about half the size of my old one. SO, I called Mom 7 months ago and told her "hey, I need to send some stuff home" (Oh, I should probably add that Mom decided I can't have a room at home anymore, but screams at me for saying that I don't live there). Anyways, 7 fucking months go by before she finally agrees to come and pick up my shit.

So, we're trying to work out days that she can come, and I call her on Monday to say "Hey, can you come Saturday?" and I get this "I don't know, BLAH BLAH BLAH I have to fight with your siblings BLAH BLAH BLAH you're selfish BLAH BLAH selfish BLAH BLAH."

So, I ask her again the next day, and she still says she doesn't know. So I say "okay, let me know." She doesn't, so I pick up some extra hours at work to try and balance out the hours I'm going to be missing next week because of Thanksgiving break.

On Saturday, at 9am, I get a call from Mom as I'm about to get up and get ready for work and she's like "Get up, we're getting this over with early."

I inform her that I have to work until 2, and she bitches and I try and tell her "Uh, you were supposed to tell me..." but she bitches over me, and I ask if she can come after 2, and she says she doesn't know, and hang up on me.

So, I give her a call once I get off work, and she seems to be in a better mood and says she's leaving right now. She's about 35 minutes away, so I figure she'll be there around 2:40, 3 at the latest. Well, 3:15 roles around, and she's not there, so I call again, and turns out she hasn't left yet. Shocking.

It's close to 5 by the time she gets here, and she takes me to Wal Mart and the Gamestop across the parking lot, get home around 6, and she's starts yelling because I don't have anything packed up and ready to go and that my room is messy.

Let me mention that:
  • Mom KNEW my room was messy, and came by with the express purpose of helping me clean it
  • I didn't have anything to pack stuff in.
  • She didn't give me any notice that she was coming until right before I left for work, and I had no time to pack anything. Had she actually told me several days ahead of time, I would've started bagging things and setting things run.
  • She didn't do ANYTHING to help. She literally sat on my couch and chewed me out for 2 hours.

In any event, Dad, who showed up with her, and I wound up doing everything, and in the end, Mom stood up to leave, and attempted to end the conversation by saying something along the lines of "you're a disgusting human being and an embarrassment". And I just snap, and I tell her that she's wrong, and that she doesn't have a right to say anything, because she didn't help out, and just sat there. She responded by just chewing me out more, so I kicked her out, and locked the door behind her.

Realizing that she'd left one of my boxes behind that I was sending home, I go outside, only to hear her bitching about me to my Dad, completely lying about what I'd said, and by this point, I'm so upset I'm crying. She tells me that I deserve to cry, along with that I deserve all the shitty things that happen to me, and laughs at me, looks me in the eye and tells me that I deserve to cry. I tell her I'm crying because it's like I don't have a mother, and because she lacks the ability to love anything.

In any event, I wound up back in my apartment, which was still in shambles, sitting underneath my bed sobbing, and I couldn't calm down. So I send out a few texts, and my friends stealurgil and zack_fair_xd wound up picking me up, and listening to me bitch over some quality McDs, which was amazingly helpful. I'm bummed that I couldn't stay with them for a movie night, but I had to get back to teh apartment and clean, where one of my other friends wound up dropping by surprisingly, and helped me sort through the disaster area that is my room.

All in all, it made me realize that I have some of the world's most incredible people in my life, and that I shouldn't stress small things like this.


That really just. It's disgusting. A mother should NEVER act like this and I can't stand that there are so many in the world that do.

Especially since, though I've not known you very long and haven't gotten much of a chance to get close to you since I'm always at college but you are seriously one of the most amazing people I have met and your mom doesn't deserve you.